Carrie, Her Children and C.O.R.E.

Suddenly and without warning, Carrie’s husband of over 20 years kicked her out of the house, along with their five children.

He started making wild accusations of infidelity and abuse, citing fabricated evidence in court. Carrie and her children floated between family members for several months until a judge ruled that they could move back into their house and that her husband must vacate but continue to pay the mortgage and child support. They arrived back at the house to find him gone, and all the utilities shut off. Carrie’s neighbor offered water from their hose, which they used until the water was turned back on days later. Her husband did not fulfill his obligation to help pay the mortgage, nor did he pay the child support.

“I WONDERED, ‘WHY? WHY DO YOU NOT WANT YOUR KIDS TO HAVE A ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS?”

Carrie was left with the financial responsibility of her home and children. She couldn’t afford childcare and no longer had a partner to help her provide for her family, so she worked part-time to be home with her children. “That was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life. I wondered, ‘Why? Why do you not want your kids to have a roof over their heads? I don’t care about he and I, but the kids? You don’t do that.” She sought a divorce to protect herself and her children from his erratic behavior.

At the time she came to Giving Kitchen, the mortgage payments on her house were months behind, her husband did not show up for court appearances, and he had not met his financial obligations to their family. After filling out an Ask for Help form, she connected with Giving Kitchen’s Stability Network, where her case manager went above and beyond to advocate for her with Georgia Child Support Services. Together, they got some insight on how Carrie should proceed legally to get support for her children. Through Stability Network, she also received legal resources and referrals to other organizations that could potentially offer supplemental financial aid.

Finally, after multiple delays and setbacks, her divorce was finalized. Soon afterward, Carrie was in a car accident that injured her hand. She had to have surgery to repair it and had to attend physical therapy to regain mobility in her thumb. “[I couldn’t] bathe, stir, hold cans, open up tops and containers and stuff like that.” It was time for her kids to take care of her. “My kids were like, ‘Mom, you don’t have to worry about anything, we got you.’” She laughed and recalled, “anything I would try to pick up, they were like, “‘Mom, No! Put it down, don’t you dare, don’t you dare.’”

While Carrie was not eligible for financial assistance from Giving Kitchen, she was eligible for referrals through Giving Kitchen’s Stability Network – which is one of the reasons Stability Network exists. It allows GK to support food service workers who may not meet every criterion to receive financial assistance, but who still need help. Our extensive network of partner organizations and individual providers allows GK to help so many more food service workers while giving us the opportunity to facilitate their journey toward stability.

“CORE IS HERE TO ENSURE THEY HAVE FOOD IN THEIR STOMACH, A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD, AND OTHER BASIC NEEDS WHILE THEY NAVIGATE THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.”

Carrie’s case manager referred her to Children of Restaurant Employees (CORE), where she was eligible to receive financial assistance. In the words of CORE Program Director Kristen Davis, “CORE is dedicated to supporting the industry’s most vulnerable employees who have children, [including] restaurant employees who face a financial crisis due to a medical issue or natural disaster. CORE is here to ensure they have a roof over their heads and other basic needs while they navigate these circumstances.”

Carrie recalled, “CORE was able to get me the money for the mortgage,” in addition to money for other living expenses. “I’m just so thankful. You all helped me and I will never forget you.”

Kristen Davis said it best when describing the relationship between CORE and Giving Kitchen: “This alliance has allowed us to partner on multiple grants for families that needed more support than one organization was capable of covering.”

“I’M LIKE A WARRIOR NOW. I’M READY.”

Carrie’s hardship played out over several years, marked by harassment, intimidation, financial manipulation, and false accusations by her ex-husband. Throughout all of this, Carrie kept her faith. “I just kept myself together, nobody knew what was going on.” Carrie has a strong relationship with God and described how she converses with her God and follows his lead. “Like God said, ‘If you’re praying for me to do these things, you got to walk like you know what’s going to happen, you have to talk like you know what’s going to happen. You’ve got to be who you want to be, who you are praying to be. If you know I got you, then I got you. Just follow my lead.’”

She cites her children and her connection to God as the source of her strength. “I’m getting tired, but I see my strength in my kids, and I told God I was going to fight.” Despite the threat that her ex-husband may resurface at any point, Carrie says, “I refuse to live in fear.”

“I’m mentally tired but spiritually, I’m not. I’m like a warrior now. I got my staff in my right hand and I feel God all the time. I’m ready. The reason why I cry is not because of what I went through, it’s how I overcame it.